Sometimes You Gotta Bite Off A Bouncer's Pinky When He Doesn't Let You Into The Bar

NY Post - An enraged man chomped off a chunk of a bouncer’s finger when he was denied entry into a Queens bar that had closed for the night, police said Wednesday.

The 37-year-old worker was closing the doors to El California Sports Bar on Roosevelt Avenue in Elmhurst shortly after 4 a.m. on Feb. 16, when the stranger approached and tried to get in.

When the bouncer told him the bar was closed, the man began squabbling with him — and then bit off part of his pinky finger, cops said.

The suspect, whom police described as having a medium build, a goatee and dark hair. He ran off east on Roosevelt Avenue. He was also wearing “a black jacket with Japanese iconography inscribed throughout.”

His victim was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center, when doctors were able to reattach his finger.

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On one hand (hah, hand) you shouldn’t bite someone’s pinky off. I generally feel like that’s an unwritten rule of the universe- you don’t fuck with another man’s pinky. Punch him, choke him, call his momma fat if you absolutely must, but you keep your chompers off his pinky. Little unwritten rules like that are what keeps the Earth spinning and the oxygen flowing.

On the other hand (hah, hand again, classic) what was he supposed to do? It as 4am and he needed to get into this bar. NEEDED to. When your mind is made up about something at 4am and you are black out drunk, you’re not responsible for what 4am-black-out-drunk-you does. And that’s another agreement we all enter into. When we don’t know up from down or this from that, sometimes you just find a pinky in your mouth. It’s like when you wake up with a slice of pizza on on the floor and a bag of Doritos on your chest and you have zero recollection of buying either. Sometimes things just wind up places when you’re drunk.

So I call this one a draw. Should he have bit the guy’s pinky off? No. We can objectively say no, he should not have. But can we necessarily *blame* him? I gotta say, no, cannot. At the end of the day, sometimes you slip up. Some people text their ex’s, some people bite off pinkies. Just how it works in the world.